Thirteen years after an array of medication cocktails, I finally am free.
Here I am and I can barely believe it. I took the last dose 9 days ago of my psychiatric medication (Adderall, Trazodone, Buspar, Ativan, Lamictal) that I’m ever going to take again! I still have the good days as well as some challenging days too but now, these days are mine.
I will no longer be outsourcing my wellbeing. For the past 6 years I’ve been attempting to get off of my medication. Attempting to taper myself off during a 6-9 month period and always eventually going back to taking the meds and never getting completely off. But now everything has changed. Now I get to trust my feelings and own these feelings rather than attributing them to whichever chemical I was painting my mood with.